I've long admired the guys' ability to just call a cab to get the girls out of there after the smushing is over. But I just this week noticed that they call them a cab and then send their ass outside to wait for the cab. "Welp, I arranged it, not get to the street." Even Paula, who Mike is almost dating, is relegated to wait for the cab on the curb. This is douchebaggery of the highest order. Color me impressed. And welcome back to Vinny, hopefully that was enough time to get your head right.
1. Danny (-) Danny kind of reminds me of 2010 Mike Brown. He's making it look like he's trying to be in charge, but nobody is listening. Everyone in the house openly disregards anything he says, but he's still out there trying to get them to work. It's admirable. And don't forget how much money this guy is making off this whole thing. Probably the most viable long-term earning potential out of anybody on the show.
2. Pauly D (1) - "You can't teach swag, you're just born with it." Pauly's words of wisdom to Snooki. And if there is anybody who knows about natural swag, it's Pauly. Nothing aftermarket or manufactured about him. On a sidenote, how many chicks has Pauly used the "it's my birthday" line on these girls. I guess it makes sense because he is essentially a woman, but this is a college girl-esque milking of the birthday weekend/week/month that I haven't seen in quite some time. I'm not sure getting Vinny and bringing him back is the best idea, but I do like Pauly's initiative to spearhead the mission.
3. Wizard of Ass (-) - I really thought after the Unit we had seen it all, and then along comes the stripper pimp. This guy is great. I don't know if it was because he called himself the Wizard of Ass, or because he came right out and admitted he fucks the strippers, but I could have watched him for the entire hour. He should have a show on A&E about the low-class stripper business in Jersey. I was trying to think of a clever name along the lines of American Glitter, or something like that, but Wizard of Ass is really the best option. When Pauly D talks about being born with swag, this is what he means.
4. Sammi (3) - Fightin' Sam is back! I don't even know what started it, but it seems like the majority of the fighting they do goes on in Bamboo. Apparently someone yanked her newly weave, Sam threw her drink, and Sam has always been taught to self-defend herself. Even against a swarm of bitches. Don't fuck with Sam. But seriously, stay out of Bamboo.
5. Seaside Strippers (-) - This whole thing is very confusing to me. The strippers at the Shore go to Karma, dance like sluts while displaying partial nudity, and then go home with a douchebag. I feel like Snooki should have been getting some dollar bills all this time.
6. Situation (2) - At the beginning, Mike is really just having a shit fit because he thought nobody was going to acknowledge his birthday. His whole life is basically a birthday party, he just needs to relax and go with the flow. Then he looks genuinely happy about the surprise party, even though he declines the stripper sex, since she is picky about socks. Not because of Paula, just the sock thing.
7. Ronnie (9) - You hear about Ronnie? He was on Mtv.....crying like a bitch. Then Ronnie stands there while Sam is rumbling on the floor and does nothing. Not a good showing for Ronnie this week as far as being a man goes.
8. Deena (4) - So Deena has wrangled up some kind of boyfriend or something? This poor guy looks like he knows the whole time that what he is doing is ill-advised at best, disgusting and enough to get you permanently blacklisted at worst. Pull the chute, homie. You've still got a chance to get out before it's too late.
9. Snooki (5) - I wish Snooki would wear that rabbit head all the time, only that it was thicker so it is harder to hear her.
10. JWoww (10) - Jenni is being a bit of a cunt to Danny most of the time this episode, but she makes a hilarious joke when she says the "see the old dude" sign might lead people to talk to Mike.
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