A lot less public urination this week, so that was nice.
1. Deena (4) - If it wasn't for helping the guys get laid, Deena would have pretty much no reason to ever be on camera. And it's not that she's not trying to whore around, she just can't find anyone willing to go for it. Here's something that's been bothering me for a while. Meatballs. This is not a flattering term for a girl. Or a guy, but that's neither here nor there. I would think that 99% of girls would take serious offense to being called a meatball, but these 2 idiots take pride in it. Like, are they empower the word maybe? I think in that case, you're supposed to put an 'a' on the end. Meatballa. Regardless, they are meatballs and Deena is absolutely disgusting, and getting progressively worse.
In addition to calling Danny the boss "an annoying", she says "a leopard never sheds its stripes" in reference to Mike.
And what the fuck is going on with her arm!
2. Snooki (2) - I have long been disturbed about the lack of hangovers we see on the show, mostly because I now get delivered directly to death's doorstep for anywhere between 12-36 hours after a good weekend anymore. These fucks get shitfaced all the time and spring right back into action with seemingly no ill effects. While I realize that my Sunday routine of making grilled cheese, drinking Gatorade, and watching Lord of The Rings (or Indiana Jones, or Star Wars, or whatever else is on TNT) wouldn't exactly be compelling TV, it seemed the drinking to misery ratio on the show has always been off. Fortunately, Snooki appears to be in the throes of one of those Put-In-Bay hangovers, and that leads here to say things like: "The Sun is too powerful," and "In Arkansas, it's always dark out. So you just, everything's dark, always." Then she falls out of a hammock and sleeps on the frame. Out of all the things Snooki has ever done, this seems to me to be the most normal behavior.
Also, this was filmed in summer of 2011, and Snooki, who has spent the majority of her life fucking off at or around the beach, has apparently never seen or heard of cornhole.
3. Pauly D (8) - Pauly would probably do anything to get the Jewish stalker back at this point. She seemed 10x less creepy and about 1000x better looking. I did enjoy the part where Pauly and Vinny alternated trying to get the other one to bang grenades. It's always funny to try to get your friend to do something (or someone) stupid and disgusting.
4. Deena's Sister (-) - Poor Deena's sister gets put on blast for being a squirter. And for banging Mike's brother, who I'm sure is also a pretty cool dude. So if you're keeping track at home, these 2 girls are now known for licking buttholes, squirting, foreign pregnancy scares, and banging members of the Situation family. So basically, their dad has to cut off all human contact with any of his friends indefinitely. This is why I don't want to have kids.
5. Vinny (6) - Seems to lack a basic understanding of the gay/straight situation. It's probably not just a case of: "No guy has run good enough game on me so I'm into girls." You aren't that special, Vin. Fortunately, Deena kept the other girl on the back burner so he could get an "average smush" when he gets back.
6. Situation (1) - Mike makes an effort to distance himself, goes to sleep when everybody is getting ready to go out, then gets salty when everybody leaves him behind. He is still on this bizarre conspiracy theory that people are after him. He responds to his delusions by antagonizing people, which would seem to exacerbate the, sorry, situation of him feeling alienated from the rest of the house.
7. Rodger (7) - I like Rodger's style. He doesn't take any of Jenni's shit or play any games and kiss her ass. He keeps talking about work, but I can't for the life of me figure out what his job must be. All the railroads are already built, so unless some director is looking for the white version of Michael Clarke Duncan I'm not sure what his calling could be.
8. Sammi (3) - No way Sammi and Ronnie get along this well now, right? The producers realized everybody was sick of their shit and either told them to knock it off or just cut out all the arguments they have. That kind of beef can't just get squashed in an environment with all that drinking.
9. Ronnie (5) - UNLESS....Ronnie is off the drugs. Either the roids (doesn't seem likely) or the yay-o (seems a little more likely)
10. Pauly's Stalker (-) - WHAT. THE. FUCK. This girl is grosser than Deena. And does she not realize she is going to be on tv, following him around like a nut?
DROPPING OUT OF TOP 10: JWoww (9) - I heard she is going to start her own spin-off about her relationships called "THE MOST BORING FUCKING SHOW EVER"
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