Challenge: Exes Fantasy League

Because we are a bunch of dorks, a few of my friends and I conducted a fantasy draft over Twitter the other day and are going to be keeping score for the entire season of Challenge: Exes. If for some reason you are reading this and not familiar with the Real World/Road Rules Challenge series. It is an Mtv program in which a bunch of meatheads and skanks live in a house together and compete in various ridiculous physically and (relatively) mentally grueling tasks during their off days of their regular schedule of drinking, fighting, and banging each other. For scoring we will be using the Grantland Rules (obviously that is geared for multiple shows, but you get the idea) and straight points. Here are the results of the snake draft as well as each team captain's reasoning behind making the picks they did.

The Wager



At the end of the season, we will be having an awards banquet at a TBD seedy location in Columbus. First place will receive a cash prize and trophy, as well as gratis drinks during the banquet. The last place finisher will have to wear female Uggs, or cut-off jorts, or do something similarly embarrassing for the evening. We are open to suggestions.




Draft Results

     Round 1          Round 2
EJD CT                Dan      Camila
Tony Johnny Bananas Bobby Paula
Chair Wes            Mikey Sarah
Mikey Abe         Chair Rachel
Bobby Jasmine    Tony     Ty
Dan Cara Maria    EJD        Leroy

      Round 3            Round 4
EJD Mandi             Dan    Tyree
Tony Diem               Bobby Naomi
Chair Dunbar            Mikey    Vinny
Mikey Emily                Chair Priscilla
Bobby Mark                Tony   Dustin
Dan Robyn          EJD       Aneesa

Not selected: Nate, Heather (forgot her)

Draft Analysis

Eric

I was fortunate to get the first pick, and then proceeded to try to talk myself out of CT. He is a risk to get thrown out like Adam Royer. Everyone is going to be gunning for him. His head is going to be messed up with Diem there.

Stupid.

CT is 5 tool. A Steve Nebraska-esque player. He is insane. He is a great competitor. He has a chance to get in a fight at anytime, and there is no shortage of people who want to fight him. Always a threat for nudity, and when he wants to, he can be a lady banging machine.

The only real concern with CT is an early exit for fighting, or if Diem really fucks up an elimination challenge. I am hoping he will be able to control himself as well as he did in Rivals, but 2 challenges in a row may be optimistic.

After a long trip around the snake draft I watched many of my other targets drop off. Cara Maria, Jasmine, Sarah. But one name stuck out to me. RoyLee. This is a guy who I thought was a first round talent in the competition department, but fell due to the fact that he seems like a normal human who could exist peacefully inside the house. I'm not too sure about that. We know he hates Adam, but why? Because Adam gets drunk and acts like a jackwagon. Well, every person in that house is capable of acting like that at any moment. So, now that he doesn't have someone to focus on, and he is no longer a rookie looking to stay in his place, his anger could seek out a new target. It will also be interesting to see how he gets along without Mike there to rekindle their bizarre bromance. Plus, guarantee he is going to be fucking somebody sooner rather than later. My main concern with Leroy is I think Naomi is going to be absolutely awful in the challenges, and I'm not sure if he can carry them both in an elimination.

With the second of my turn picks, I took Mandi. She is with Wes, so we know she will be around for a while, giving her lots of time to engage in her specific brand of skankery.

Aneesa capped it off, we will definitely get some hook ups out of her, and being that she is on an all girls team I doubt too many people will want to be the ones to put them into an elimination challenge, giving her more opportunity to earn points.

Clearly, my strategy is to get people that I think will be around as long as possible in order to maximize my point output. Every person on this show is fucked up enough to throw up points in any category, it's all about being there. 

Tony

I actually didn't read the rules until after my first pick, but I wouldn't have changed it even if I had.  

Bananas-This was an obvious choice for me.  Dude knows how to play the game. He isn't opposed to stirring up some shit now and again.  The wildcard is that his partner is Camila.  She is the perfect mixture of crazy, alcoholic, slutty, and sappy.  If memory serves me she was in love with Bananas, so hopefully a long run of challenge performance and coitus will lead to Johnny racking up the points.  

Ty- This guy baffles me. He is freakishly built, and is crazy enough to succeed at these games, but it's a bad crazy.  He is more "beat up girls" crazy.  He has a really weird hate/love, kiss/punch relationship with his partner, Emily.  Chances are he gets bounced the first week, but IF he makes it to the end he is guaranteed to rack up a shit ton of points. He is like James Harrison.  He should perform like a 1st rounder if the crazy doesn't win the inner battle.

DIem- CT's partner, that should be enough said.  They should be the team to beat in this competition.  The only way I see them getting bounced early is if CT reconstructs someone's face again.  My girl Diem thinks she can talk CT off the ledge, but ask Adam how that worked out last time.  Either way, I think the drama between CT and Diem is worth a lot of points, because I know Diem is an emotional mess most of the time.  I don't really remember, but for some reason my mind is telling me that Diem performs well at these things.  Maybe it's just because she beat cancer. 

Dustin- FRAT PAD, that is enough said.

Brandon "Chair"

Alright, so i know my team has come under a lot of scrutiny so far since the draft, but hear me out.

my team has 3 former Challenge Champions, with Wes winning the Dual and Rachel winning the Dual season 2 (proving that they are both strong individual competitors and will probably be around for the long haul) and Dunbar being on the winning team in Cutthroat (i didnt watch, but the title indicates that the winner would indeed be cutthroat, and possibly make people cry). 

Wes: Wes is a competitor. He doesnt hide the fact that he's a competitor, he is the Tim Tebow of letting you know how much he is there to win. It may just be him trying to overcome his birth defect (ginger), but he is going to try VERY hard and his effort will probably piss people off. I feel that Wes is a steal even at 3rd pick of the 1st round. I know that you get points for making someone cry, and I think he might actually get points for making a girl cry after a physical confrontation. I remember a lot of fire between him and CT a few seasons back, i expect big points right away from both of these guys. 

Rachel: The odds of Rachel being involved in a hookup is double that of any other challenger. Yes, FratPad is down to hook up with bros, and the camera's will increase his chance of wanting to do so, but lets be honest. Rachel is hot, and these girls all have low self esteem and are open for experimentation. None of these bros are gonna go gay. Any of these girls or guys will be down to hit that. Plus, she is also an athlete and she will be sweet at challenges. 

Dunbar: I didnt know much about the remaining competitors at this point. Everyone from the years i watched the Challenge were taken and I had to go off of their twitter accounts and what i could find on google. Dunbar is a real piece of work. He comes from a family that lost their fortune in a money laundering scandal, and is more proud of being from the South than he is for being an American. MTV.com describes him as "well spoken, opinionated on political issues, literature adn poetry, arrogant, and hot headed" AKA the person who out of the remaining contestants that i would like to fight the most. He is terrible. And terrible could be just the spark i need for this team. 

Priscilla: This one is my wildcard. I dont know much about her. But her bio made her sound like a dumb spoiled bitch. So there. 

Hate all you want, but team Chairboyswag is taking home the trophy. Or at least not performing an embarrassing task. 

Mikey

I went into this, as my first of many, reality show fantasy draft with a pretty basic strategy. That strategy was to know the basic rules of the show and correlate those rules and the Grantland system and choose the best possible team. Also, your team has to survive week after week to give you points. Something brought up in the preview show is how teams will be put into elimination challenges. The last place team from the performance challenge and a team chosen by the first place team in the same challenge. This lead me to think that the middle of the road teams with a lot of experience and a good political (LOL) standing are more likely to not step on toes in this game and make it to the end. 

Having the 4th pick, I really liked my position, even though the 3 big hitters were gone in CT, Bananas, and The Ginger. With my thoughts on how the season was going to go, Abraham Boise was a safe pick and one of the nut job sociopaths would fall to me in the next round. However, last night I realized that I picked the Charlie Redz of The Challenge: http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa199/lilOUmikey/DelonteBoise.jpg. Which obviously is a good thing for the Grantland scoring system. 

Following my first pick, the 4 nut cases, Jasmine, Cara Maria, Camila, and Paula went in succession. I thought that the nut case along with the safe pick in the first round would've been PERFECT. It was obviously not meant to be, which lead me back to my first round strategy. Survival. With Evelyn and Laurel not in this season, Sarah, in my opinion, is the strongest female competitor. The only downside is she doesn't fuck in the house, but she won't hold back trying to make other girls cry. 

My strategy for my 3rd round pick was the same as the first, going for value and maximum episode exposure. I think Emily and Ty are a real dark horse in this game. I don't remember an ugly break up between the two and she is RIPPED: http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa199/lilOUmikey/Emily.jpg. My fourth pick came around and ONCE AGAIN, my train wreck female was chosen right before my selection. I thought Naomi was guaranteed at least a 3 some in the pool type points. So then it came down to the decision between Vinny and Aneesa. Aneesa definitely has get drunk and make bitches cry written all over her but I believe she was out first in the last challenge season and once again, I really liked the team of Sarah and Vinny. Vinny might be the Randy Moss of my 2007 fantasy team to go along with Sarah aka Tom Brady. 

I understand my team doesn't have the flash, drama, controversy, or slut potential, but damnit  I believe they will lead the league in total episodes and therefore maximize their point potential. Good luck on 2nd place, fellas! 

Dan

Drawing the 6th pick, I knew I was going to miss out on the top studs in the draft (aka no chance at CT or Wes) so I would have to get creative in order for my team to compete.  I had Jasmine as the top competitor on my draft board.  I was slightly worried about her having an Adam Royer-esque season, but expected her fiery explosion shown in the trailer would give me enough cushion througout the season. Unfortunately, the cheese that lives on Eli Manning's taint selected her one pick before me, leaving me to scramble. Here is the breakdown on my picks:

Cara Maria (1st Round: 6th Overall): She cries a LOT.  The trailer shows her and Abram getting heated at each other and she has made it pretty far every season she has been in. A top notch girl with emotional issues was the top available IMO at number 6.

Camila (2nd Round: 7th Overall): She cries a lot (notice the theme for my team).  From the pre-show, it appears that her and Banana's dont have any hostility.  I am expecting a deep run in the show and coitus points between her and her partner.  Another point in her favor is that Banana's has lots of game credibility and usually knows how to manipulate the mob.  Also, I have a thing for fiery latino women.

Tyrie (3rd Round: 18th Overall): The trailer shows him getting punched by his batshit crazy partner.  He also retweeted me.

Robyn (4th Round: 19th Overall):  I dont know shit about her besides for in my draft prep (consulting with chicks that are obsessed with MTV shows) the thing that kept being mentioned was that shes crazy.  Works for me.

By assembling the squad that I did, I am hoping for solid points every week from my emotional chicks crying.  Im also hoping for solid coitus points from Camila.  I am also secretly hoping that Tyrie fires back at Jasmine to get me MAJOR POINTS.  Im going to hell. 

Bobby

I was stuck in a weird spot being the 5th pick in a 6 man snake draft. Obviously with the slim-to-none chance of landing CT, Bananas or Wes I had to come up with a plan and targets for my team - which can be said in a handful of words: Bat shit crazy. That's why with my first selection I took Jasmine.

Jasmine (5th overall) - Napoleon syndrome to a T. She is about 4'8 and pretty sure her picture is synonymous with insane. Last year as a rookie she punched mirrors, broke glasses and attempted to fight just about everyone - including her partner. She also had no shame in having some coitus with her now partner Tyrie. Previews show her punching him, breaking glasses again and living up to her name. Plus the fact she has an alter-ego automatic No. 1 selection for myself.

Next highest on my board was Cara Maria, but the man previously (and sometimes still known) as Poopstain Eye snatched her up. So I was left with Paula (8th overall) a wiley veteran who has received the nickname Walnuts for being a psychopath. Pairing with Dunbar I expect the team to make a deep run and along the way bring back the old Paula we all know and love. I expect, no, encourage her to do what she does best. Drink a lot of alcohol and throw herself at anyone (I'm looking at you Mike from Real World Las Vegas). She has no shame in hooking up. 

Mark (15th) - I'll be honest I know diddlypooh about him. I consulted someone who has a great deal of knowledge about these things and says this is approximately his 50th Challenge and he always seems to do well in them. I'm banking on a lot of victories for points and based on the preview him and his partner Robin are nuts together. Hoping for a lot of hook up points from Mark as well. Plus he wished me Good Luck via twitter, bonus points.

Naomi (18th overall) - The draft got tricky here with a lot of rookies, unknowns and Vinny - who might be the dumbest creature on the planet. In the trailers she is having a heated discussion with her partner/fuck-buddy from Vegas Leroy. She yells at him "I'm territorial" while he rebuttals with "I'm not your territory." I'm hoping this means one thing and one thing only - she peed on him to mark her territory. That has to be worth some sort of points. Also in Vegas she was known for never wearing clothes, having an STD scare and a pregnancy scare. Safe to say sex points should be a plenty with her.

Good luck to all competitors. Look for weekly scoring updates here.